You see, I had this major list of stuff I wanted to get done on the 12--Twelve!!!--days off I had during Christmas break. These were exciting things, not stressful things. I wanted to work on an e-course, more blog posts, sewing projects, and all kinds of things that make me happy. But right before Christmas I started to feel really odd. I don't want to get into the specifics, but my anxiety problems were coming back full force and there was no amount of meditation, relaxation or chamomile tea that could make it go away. Finally, after seeing a doctor about it, I started some medication. I tried to tough it out for about 7 days, but things got worse and worse to the point where I didn't think I could stand it anymore. I was assured that no, I wasn't supposed to be feeling that way, and that I should discontinue use. I had lost several nights' sleep, laid around without motivation, lost my appetite, and just felt junky all around.
So, I stopped that medication and tried a new strategy that seems to be starting to work, but in the midst of that, I got sick with the flu, which lasted 3 days (and cost me precious PTO time already in January), and which amplified everything I was already feeling by about 100. I was terrified! However, after some rest and some things that I really needed and love and kindness from my family, I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. I got in about four workouts in the last few weeks and am slowly regaining my running charisma.
So anyhow, thanks for sticking it out with me. It's been a long, scary three weeks, but this experience has taught me more than ever to be grateful for wellness.
So, instead of being too much of a bummer, let's switch gears and celebrate health. Here's what I'm finally excited to be able to do:
- Participate finally in the Tone it Up Love Your Body series. I'm waaaay behind on the 100 miles by Valentine's Day challenge, but I'm still going to try my best.
- Run my little heart out. I'm going to have to start slow and build up my endurance again, but I'm just so happy to be able to put some time back into this love of mine.
- Eat! I've been on the bland, toast and soup diet for a few weeks now and really want to be able to look a Swiss mushroom burger in the eye without gagging.
- Play Legos with Peanut. He's been begging me for days to play with him. I didn't know how many more times I could tell him I wasn't feeling good and couldn't play before one of us would burst. Poor kid.
- Go out in public. Not to be melodramatic, but I was worried for awhile there that I would get sick or panic in public until I started feeling better. Now I'm good to go.
- Work. Did I mention I'm sick of TV?! I watched waaaay too much TV while I was at home in bed. It was about the only activity that I could muster the strength for and at some points, the nonsense of my favorite familiar characters on the Big Bang Theory or King of Queens seemed rather comforting. But now, I'm sick of being at home in bed in front of the TV and am really loving being back at work, focusing on something other than my own ailments.
I'm back! Full force. I will be posting regularly again, so thanks for baring with me:)