Looking Fear in the Eye

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I have a confession to make. I worry. Like, a lot. I'm a mom and I'm getting older, I guess, so it seems there are more things to fear than ever. I can sometimes be a bit of a WebMD-induced hypochondriac and see myself splattered all over the highway whenever I ride behind my husband on his motorcycle. Whenever my son climbs on the railings at the park, my stomach flops thinking about him falling. Most people can probably relate. In fact, I don't like to talk about it much, but around Labor Day last year, I was diagnosed with an anxiety-related thang by my doctor. Severe anxiety is a regular part of my life, so I have to make a conscious effort to relieve or prevent that anxiety on a daily basis.

However, part of the prevention process of anxiety is facing your fears, as contradictory as it sounds. I think, in life, the more you face your fears, the more resilient you become. You take more chances in other areas of your life and push beyond your perceived limits. If you're not a little fearful at times, you might not be living up to your full potential, imho.

Buying my new moped is one of the small ways in which I'm facing my fears. At first, I was pretty reluctant to drive around solo--I once dumped a small motorcycle and it wasn't pretty. In fact, just yesterday, I rode the moped to work and did indeed almost get hit by a car. (Please don't text and drive people, it's truly terrifying!!!) The moped also stalled at an intersection and I had to react fast to avoid a traffic situation behind me. Though those experiences were a bit stressful, and the idea of riding around in an open-air vehicle makes me feel extremely vulnerable, I am actually happy that I made the purchase and pushed myself beyond my comfort zone.

Whether it's driving a moped or hiking a mountain, I can feel myself growing with each new experience. I find myself much more capable of things that I didn't even realize. It's confidence-building and anxiety-busting. Some days, it just makes me happy to still be alive. It makes the feeling of being alive a little sharper, especially when you're riding in the open air. Go do something today that scares you, ok?

Please leave a comment and let me know what you've done lately that has scared you to pieces?

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