Banning Children

Ok. I get it. Some kids could potentially derail your plans to have a nice quiet dinner away from home. But what's the deal with the new trend and enthusiasm for banning kids?

Looking at this strictly from a constitutional standpoint, isn't this a complete and utter example of age discrimination? I mean, I like to get away from my son once in awhile for adult time too, but I certainly don't like the idea of his rights to enter a public building being stripped away. Especially because of someone else's lifestyle choice to remain kid-free. I respect that lifestyle choice, but I do not think it constitutes a right to shun someone else's. Isn't this the equivalent of putting up signs that, say, people of a certain color are not allowed in an establishment? Let's blow the entire structure our country was founded upon because someone finds it grating when a child whimpers.

It always made me seethe inside when I was in high school, and the nearby gas station put up signs up that said only three students were allowed to enter the convenience store at a time. And then the owners would watch you like a hawk. This is a small town in WI, mind you. Either way, it's discriminatory. If you look younger than 18, you automatically hold a scarlet letter that says "most likely to steal" or "most likely to ruin your dinner." Highly discriminatory.

It's such a shame that young people are becoming the victims of this modern stigmatization, this new round of sheer discrimination.

Will Work Out for Mental Health

I've been officially active for about 10 years now. I came back from a semester at college noticeably-to-others more overweight than I left, complete with comments from people who usually don't notice. Obviously, I had to do something about it. A friend was redeeming a free weeks' pass at a local gym, and she was given a free pass for a guest. After a week, I signed up and the rest is ... well, you know.

Obviously, dramatic changes happened right from the get-go. I lost the Freshmen, ahem, 15. I felt more energetic and I even got sick less. I'd get one cold every few weeks in the winter pre-fitness and maybe one per year in my post-sedentary life.

However, other changes happened that were less noticeable at the beginning. Most recently, I experienced a few days' sabbatical from working out. While some might roll their eyes at this, it is a big deal for me. More so than I thought. For instance, last week, due to a business trip in the middle of the week, I went from Monday clear through to Saturday without breaking an exercise-induced sweat. Let me tell you, my mental health did not benefit. By Friday, I was noticeably moody. Saturday morning I worked out, and the difference was profound. Same kind of thing happened the week before. I fell into a funk that only running for at least 30 minutes straight could remedy.

It's official, I'm addicted to endorphins. My husband rolled his eyes at me when I insisted that I needed to get on the treadmill, stat. I told him, "Honey, this is not for my looks. This is for my mental and emotional health." He did not stop me or say anything more after that. Probably because he was the primary victim of the exercise-deprived villain within me. Someone I hadn't known myself until fitness became my way of life.

The Downside of Early Morning Workouts

Recently, I finally forced myself to get up early and work out before work as opposed to after. This workout time fixed a number of "problems," but ended up creating some new ones. What's a girl to do?

Pros of early morning workout:
1. Workout is done for the day right away--starts the day off on the right key. I go to work feeling truly refreshed with invigorated lungs.

2. One shower per day as opposed to two. Silly problem, I know, but that extra water and time loss was actually really bothering me.

3. I love the energy of the early morning...the way barely anyone is up and about, the way the sun hits the planet, the way the mist is still lifting, and on and on.

4. I feel like I'm left with more time in my day. I leave work feeling like there's less on my "to-do list" and more time to spend with my family or getting other things done. When I did after-work workouts, by the time I clocked 35-40 on the treadmill and at least 20 minutes of strength, then showered, it was practically time to go to bed.

Cons of working out in the early morning:
1. I never have time to do the strength training after running like I did with my after-work workouts. And no, I'm not about to get up any earlier. The truth is in the numbers. In May, I clocked in 1260 workout minutes (I track this for our wellness program at work) and in June, when I started the morning routine, I only got 990 minutes. Although the scale hasn't budged, the wiggle when I wave and the protruding-more-than-normal gut don't lie. Believe me, I can tell the difference!

2. I just.can't.get.up. Most mornings start with me being pissed off about getting up so early. It's only about 1/2-hour, but it makes a difference. I'm not a natural early-morning person, so it hurts every time. I was starting to resent the early morning workout. I don't want to resent it!

3. And trying to get to bed earlier never works out. With toddler bedtimes and leftover to-dos, I just can't seem to hit the sack by 9:30.

I guess the pros outweigh the cons, but at least I gave morning workouts a shot. I'm really proud of myself, because I've only done morning workouts like three times in my entire life. To go three weeks was really a feat! At least I can pat myself on the back for that. We shall see if I decide to keep this up.

Babygazing has got to be located somewhere in the realm of the divine. An evening spent burying our feet in the sandbox, playing "fish" in the bathtub, and lap-reading for an extended time felt so great it was almost spiritual. Peering in at the little boy asleep in stillness topped the experience with pure bliss. Could it be that the free 'Yoga in the Gardens" session that I went to last night carried over into my parenting?

Could be.

At this very time, I've also been reading a soulful book titled "The Creative Family" by Amanda Blake Soule. The book is filled with gentle reminders about the intricacy and delicacy of childhood. How it's important to engage your children in meaningful activities, especially natural and artistic pursuits. How you should appreciate the sensitivities of a child. The passage that I remember the most was about how it's essential to appreciate when your child goes jumping in puddles and playing in the mud because of the crucial learning opportunities they provide. These are natural, tactile adventures. It's all about exploration and spontaneity and experimentation. You could get mad, or you could get mindful.

Soule points to mindful parenting in the resources section of the book. Interested in learning more about where Soule may have learned some of her own unique parenting skills, I did a little research about it. Bingo! Just what I needed.

When I was a brand-new first-time mother of a newborn, the most grounding habit I took up was my yoga hour on Saturday mornings. Afterwords, I approached my son much more gently and the intimidation of new motherhood seemed a little more surmountable. But I couldn't quite put my finger on it.


Now I see that the connection between yoga and mindful parenting is phenomenal. Last night, while I was slowing down my breath and thoughts on that beautiful manicured lawn, moving my body gently on all different planes, and being reminded to feel the earth beneath my feet, my patience was restored and "hurry up" was eliminated from my routine. My relationship with my son last night was all the better for it as I was being mindful of the sand shoes on my feet and being sensitive to my son's whims and curiosities.

I can feel what nurturing myself and slowing down does for my own body, and now I clearly and firmly recognize what it does for my child.

We're Painting the Roses Red

With inspiration from articles like this from Apartment Therapy, my husband and I decided to paint the ugly wood paneling in our upstairs hallway. Failing to take "before" pictures, I have an "after" shot and a shot of the paneling by the stairs that we have yet to finish (we're still trying to figure out how to paint that high up).

This gives you an idea of what the wood paneling looked like before:



And the finished hallway after:



Yeah, that's how dramatic it was! Our wood paneling was as ugly as is imaginable. It was old, cheap, thin and smudged. There were random nail holes probably from the previous owner's picture montage or something. We weren't sure whether painting wood paneling would look rather grungy-hotel cheap or not. We talked in passing about drywalling over it, but that seemed even more daunting.

So, we went for it. All we did was prime the walls with two coats and paint it. We used about two coats of low VOC white gloss paint straight from the can, since white is the furthest thing from dark deathlike wood. (Gloss is also easier to clean, and should we need to touch anything up, we obviously won't have to worry about getting the exact shade right.) The amount of light that now penetrates the hallway is about 50-fold. I'm not even exaggerating. It was so dark and stagnant up there before. We use the same single hall light as before. Previously, you could barely see what was on the floor. Now, the timid hall light actually seems super bright.

Before, we had to open several doors so light from the windows would lighten the dark. In fact, I was sure that nothing short of carving a skylight in the ceiling would cure the darkness. Now, we can have all the doors closed and still see the sun on the walls. And it looks rather tasteful. No dingy motel vibe whatsoever.

This has got to be my favorite home project yet. And I have to say, painting is one of my least favorite things to do in life. Actually I hate it almost as much as going to the dentist. But this project likened me to it again in a big way. If feng shui has any merit, the chi is totally flowing in a tangible way through this hallway now. It looks bigger, I can breathe stronger in it, and the light of the sun is penetrating in such a healing way.

Yes, you CAN paint over wood paneling!

Writing Announcement

I have an announcement to make concerning an essay I entered into the Rent.com New American Dream essay contest: I am in the top 25! Round one consisted of a "popularity contest" where you had to get your friends to vote for your essay. They had to sign up for the site in order to do so, so I'm sure I missed some votes just because of that. I was sure that I wouldn't make it through just based on the "vote for me" criteria. But, out of 488 entries, I indeed made it past the first stage!

Now, I'm in the top 25 for a chance at $10,000, a Caribbean trip, or a Visa gift card. There are 7 prizes total, giving me a 28% chance of winning at least something. Yes, I totally did the math. This round will be judged by a panel of expert judges based on creativity, clarity, and such. And not to sound conceited in any form of the word, but I read some of the other entries and I'm not sure others took the "essay" part of the contest very seriously. I've got a good shot here!

My biggest hope is to win, not so much for the prizes involved (although I'll probably faint with excitement and gladly take a trip to the ocean or mortgage lender's office), but for the accolades winning would give me for my writing career. Sweet!

I'll keep you posted.

What Not To Do When You Work Out

Every once in awhile I face an exercise obstacle that I didn't anticipate. Like any learning opportunity, these little snafus give me ideas for doing things better and encourage a good cathartic laugh.

Rule #1: Never try to rollerblade while pulling a child in a wagon. I mean, I was pretty sure this wasn't going to work anyway. But my husband insisted that changing the bike seat back into a running stroller was no simple task. So we tried the next best thing: the wagon. Impossible! By the way, even if you hook a dog leash to the handle, you'll still be panting and swerving all over the sidewalk. Oh my gosh, think of what we looked like to onlookers. Ha! We originally wanted to bring our son along on this "family outing," but ended up finding a sitter for a good 30 minute ride.

Rule #2: Don't rollerblade anywhere near the lake when the lakeflies are in season. We had no idea they were swarming until we were eating them in the thicks of their buzzing. Our city has a problem with this breed of buzzers for about two weeks every spring and they literally form a black wall for a good block all around the lake. Honey quick! Turn around! Cover your face and nose! Yes, they are that bad! People from around here know exactly what I mean. People from anywhere else will not believe me.

Rule #3: Do not talk to me while I'm on the treadmill. I'm not trying to be rude or antisocial or callous or disconnected when I say this. I'm just not well-equipped to keep up with myself and carry on conversation at the same time. I am a master multi-tasker, and I don't normally get very moody, but try talking to me while I'm running. I just can't do it. I have a one-track mind on the treadmill. I can read magazines on there, but I just can't talk.

Rule #4: Don't close your eyes and jam out to your music on the treadmill. It's a little funny, but potentially very dangerous. I watched as my mom edged toward the back of the treadmill and slid right off the back before I even had a chance to warn her. We both laughed really hard, but it definitely could've turned out much worse.

Rule #5: Never try to go for a run with the jogging stroller AND the dog. I always feel guilty when I go out running without bringing one or the other. The dog never really gets enough exercise and the baby will throw himself on the floor crying if I leave without him. So one time, like a good mommy, I thought I'd try bringing both. Wrong move. First of all, good running form is completely impossible. Both hands are tied up so you can't swing them. You're hunched over the stroller while one arm is being tugged. You can't concentrate and enjoy your run when you have the baby asking to get out and walk and the dog is trying to chase a squirrel on the other side. Just don't do it!

Be careful out there. There are so many ways to bang oneself up in and outside a gym. Some of them, you'll just never see coming though.